Monday, 3 December 2012

Beware the Tax Collector's Dog!

Whilst looking for accountants jokes to post on my blog earlier today, I came across the following:

What's the difference between a Doberman and a Tax Inspector?
A Doberman will eventually let go!

A funny enough joke in itself and I was pleased that I'd found one that was at the expense of the tax man rather than myself, but more interesting was the anecdote attached to it.

Did you know...

According to various websites I discovered, the Doberman dog breed was created by a tax collector!

Sources suggest Herr Karl Friedrich Louis Dobermann (1834-1891) had a number of professions including dogcatcher, night watchman and tax collector, the latter two of which involved some risk to life and limb.

With ready access to a supply of dogs, he set about breeding a watchful, sharp, brave and intelligent dog to accompany him on his rounds.

His aim was to create a guard dog with a strong mouth, good nose, courage, hardness and a highly developed protective instinct. The result was the Doberman Pinscher.

Want to know more?

A quick search on Google pulled up the following websites that appear to corroborate the story to some degree or another:

So, if the thought of the tax man knocking on your door makes you nervous, give Fiona Wills a call. I'm good with dogs!

Taxman by The Beatles

With all the current talk about taxes on the rich and offshore accounts, it is easy to forget an earlier time when four working class lads from Liverpool were genuinely shocked to see how much of their money was going to the tax man.

Forget the 45% or 50% high tax rate that Labour and the Conservatives are arguing over at the moment. Back then Harold Wilson's Labour government had introduced a 95% supertax rate!


The Beatles hit back on their 1966 album 'Revolver' with the song 'Taxman'. Written by George Harrison, he said of the song, "Taxman was when I first realized that even though we had started earning money, we were actually giving most of it away in taxes."

Well, we all know The Beatles didn't do too badly overall, but as long as their are excessive taxes, there'll always be plenty of accountants.

So many thanks to HMRC for providing me with a living!


For those who can't make them out from the song, the following are the lyrics:

Let me tell you how it will beThere's one for you, nineteen for me
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman

Should five per cent appear too small
Be thankful I don't take it all
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah I'm the taxman

If you drive a car, I'll tax the street,
If you try to sit, I'll tax your seat.
If you get too cold I'll tax the heat,
If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet.

Don’t ask me what I want it for
If you don't want to pay some more
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman

Now my advice for those who die
Declare the pennies on your eyes
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman

And you're working for no one but me.

Note the line "There's one for you, nineteen for me" reference to Wilson's 95% tax rate.

Tax Advice

If you're liable for higher rate tax of 45%, give Fiona Wills a call for personal, business or corporation tax advice.

Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Rural Accountants, Lancashire

When many people think of Lancashire, they think of the central Lancashire towns of Preston, Blackpool and Lancaster, but even post the 1974 boundary changes, Lancashire is a relatively large county with many of its 1,189 square miles still rural.

If your business is located in a rural area, far from the nearest high street, everyday business processes, such as a visit to the accountant can be a chore.

Mobile Accountants

Enter Fiona Wills Accounting Services. Based in Garstang at the heart of Lancashire, I am a fully mobile accountant and I come to you, meaning you don't have to leave and / or shut your business.

No need travel miles to drop off paperwork or for a 30 minute meeting. I come to you!

I was raised in South Cumbria and Lancashire and am very aware of the problems associated with running a business in this largely rural area.

My services include VAT and self-assessment returns, bookkeeping, tax advice, company formations, payroll services, management accounts and more.

I pride myself on a flexible personal service and will always strive to meet your requirements and provide the very best information and advice.

Accountantancy Services throughout Lancashire

So whether you're looking for Accountants north of Lancaster, Bookkeeping Services to the west of Preston or Payroll Services east of Blackpool, give Fiona Wills Accounting Services a call.

An Accountancy Shanty

How about a bit of light relief to kick off this chilly November with?

For the few who remember it and the many who've probably never heard of it, here is the Accountancy Shanty song from Rutland Weekend Television (RWT):

RWT was a television sketch show, written by Eric Idle (of Monty Python fame) with music by Neil Innes, which aired in the mid 1970s on BBC2.

Accountancy Shanty Lyrics

And for those who want to sing along, here are the words from the sketch:

Battley: Look, up in the trees! Accountants. The long day's accounts are done and they gather here in the Reigate Woods to sing accountancy shanties.

Accountant(s): 'Twas in my youth I ran away
To accountancy one day
With pen and paper collar and stud
Accountancy was in my blood
      I'll scribble away and balance the books and sing an accountancy shanty!
I chartered an accountant at the age of twenty-one
      I'll scribble away and balance the books and sing an accountancy shanty!
So raise a glass of medium-dry sherry
To the golden age of VAT
      I'll scribble away and balance the books and sing an accountancy shanty!

Battley: Ah, it's a rare sight for this part of Reigate...

Thursday, 11 October 2012

Real Time Information (RTI)

You may have heard about HM Revenue and Customs new PAYE scheme which begins, for the majority of people, in April 2013.  The move to reporting information in real time is the biggest change to the operation of PAYE in 60 years.

What is RTI?

It is a system by which every time you pay an employee you send the information to HM Revenue and Customs electronically.  To compare it to the current system, it is the completion and filing of the employers annual return (P35) but on a pay period frequency and not yearly.

It will play an important role in supporting the introduction of Universal Credit by the Department of Work and Pensions. HMRC will pass to the DWP some of the information from RTI. They will then use it to adjust the universal credit payment according to the claimants earnings.

What do I need to do to prepare?

Fiona Wills Accountancy Services has arranged to upgrade their payroll software so for our existing clients all you need to do is check the employee information which is sent to you prior to April 2013 and arrange for any missing information to be provided before that date.

  • You need to confirm that your payroll software is capable of sending PAYE information in real time. If you don’t currently use software you should plan ahead now so your business will be able to submit PAYE information when required to do so. It must be sent electronically.
  • If you pay your employees directly into their bank accounts via the BACS system, using your unique Service User Number, you will need to add a cross reference or hash into the payment instruction. This is so that HMRC can match the payments employees received with the payroll data you report in real time.
  • Ensure employee information is accurate. You must ensure you have the following information for each employee:
    -    Full name
    -    Date of birth
    -    National Insurance Number
    -    Gender and
    -    Address

What happens if I have a new employee or one leaves?

Every person you pay for doing work for you, even on an ad hoc or casual basis should be paid through the payroll system.

When you have a new starter you need to collect the information listed above and ensure this information is available for the first time you need to pay your employee. You will not have to report the new starter separately as you do at the moment because the information will be inputted through the payroll report. However, if an employee arrives without a P45 then you can still use the P46 to ensure you collect all the relevant information.

When an employee leaves you will still provide parts 1A, 2 and 3 of the P45 form but you won’t send part 1 to HMRC.

HMRC commenced a pilot exercise in April 2012 and they have been working closely with the volunteers and making changes to the system as and when needed. Therefore the detail of the new scheme could change before next April. I will update this article as and when new information becomes available so keep in touch on facebook or twitter for updates.

If you require any assistance regarding payroll then please contact me via the website:

Thursday, 2 August 2012

Mobile Accountant - I come to you!

Are you tired of having to shut your business to visit your accountant? Fiona Wills Accountancy Services is a mobile accountant.

By me coming to you to pick up paperwork or for meetings means you don’t have to leave your business. 

I feel this is a major reason why people are looking to myself to be their accountant. I aim to help you continue in business.

It also gives me the opportunity to learn your business and advise you. So don’t forget Fiona Wills Accountancy Services, the mobile accountant.

Whatever you do, I come to you!

Call us now on 07525 653036 or visit our website:

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

Providing exceptional customer experiences could be the only thing separating your small business from the competition.
An unfortunate consequence of worldwide technology and the Internet placing abundant choice at every human being’s fingertips is that most products just look alike. If not yet because yours is new, they soon will when the competition rips off your look and feel. What’s left to distinguish your small business? More than likely it is customer experience, and there is great news. The only people who talk about your exceptional service that count are your customers. What you say on your website is irrelevant without them. With social media all the rage, it’s easier than ever to get viral and put your business past the tipping point if and only if your service is truly legendary.
We try very hard.... ! well Isy does, to find articles which will inform our clients and those looking at our various sites with information and links of interest here is one we hope will help: - Customer service do's and don'ts

Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Morning everyone, so your present accountant has given you his invoice and WOOH the fees have increased .... ! and so has your tax liability. What to do next change your accountant perhaps, call us and lets see if we can reduce your fees to start with for the coming year and lets have a good look at whether we can reduce your liabilty for the coming year. Unlike many accountants we are tax experts and won't wait for you to ask we will find ways if possible to reduce your liability ans make suggestions to you we are pro-active in assisting you. Call us today and lets get together for a constructive meeting. Join our many satisfied clients across the North West.

Monday, 2 July 2012

Fiona Wills updated her status.: "Strawberries with double cream and a bottle of Cava rose (living beyond our means). Bliss. Thanks Karen Chandisingh"
‎31st July deadline for tax credits, bring your accounts in, don't loose out! For more info give me Fiona on 01995601190

Saturday, 30 June 2012

Hi everyone we want to hear from you what would you like from your accountant most perhaps we can provide it tell us on our blog page.
Morning everyone back to the reality of Preston after our wedding and the break with the family, hi to all my clients back to the grind stone on Monday for you all and thanks for the messages.

Friday, 29 June 2012

A huge thank you to all our new friends on facebook if we can help you with your accounting needs get in touch or check out our website for information and a contact enquiry form.
Hi everyone now Mrs Harrison after being Ms Wills for so Looonnnngggggg !
Remember : Tax Credit deadline 31july bring your accounts so you don't loose out!
P11Ds 2011/12 must be submitted by 6th July or you can be fined £300 for each late form
A note for all our clients to put in their diaries: In October 2012, the national Minimum Wage will rise from £6.08 to £6.19 an hour for workers aged 21 and over.
I am a fully qualified accountant who works within the Lancashire and Cumbria regions and am both AAT and ACCA qualified. I am also chair of the Lancashire AAT until 2015 having recently been elected to the position.
Our website is where you will find lots of information about our services, testimonials from our clients and links to them. We also have a number of contact pages which we hope you will use to update us on your thoughts and requirements.

Our Twitter site and facebook site can be accessed from the website so come along and join us as friends or just tweet us to say hello.
Well today we have a blog site as well as Twitter, FaceBook and website all provided by Web Cats Design Studio who have worked so hard to assist my business to grow with social media marketing, and expert advise in other areas as well. It's a massive thank you once again to the cats & Ken.