Ticklingly Bad Tax Advice

Watching a progam last night with Ken Dodd in it, I was reminded of his famous tax evasion case in the 80s (yes, I'm that old!) and I couldn't remember whether or not he was found guilty and / or went to prison.

Over to Google...

And a quick search reveals that he was acquitted after a trial lasting three weeks.

He was charged with tax evasion in 1989 and during the subsequent trial a number of revelations came to light, most notably that he had several hundred thousand pounds stashed in suitcases in his attic

I'm not sure who his accountant was, but he clearly wasn't getting very good tax advice.

Great Comedy Material

Although it is less popular now in the light of scandals involving banker's bonuses and off shore tax scams, Ken turned the experience into a set part of his comedy routine, often opening with the line, "Good evening, my name is Kenneth Arthur Dodd; singer, photographic playboy and failed accountant!".

Born in 1927 and still touring, he is a testament to a bygone age of family entertainment and humour for its own sake, but hopefully now with slightly better tax affairs.

Ticklingly Good Tax Advice

So, if you're looking for good tax advice and you live in the Lancashire or Cumbria area, why not give Fiona Wills a call?

And if you happen to have several hundred thousand pounds in cash lying around in your loft, perhaps you also ought to consider a financial adviser.

VAT, a European Invention

Europe has given us many things over the years; the metric system, Cornish pasty naming restrictions and more recently ash dieback, but did you know that VAT also originates from the Continent?

Value Added Tax

It was first envisioned in the 18th Century by a German economist looking for a sales tax on goods that did not affect the cost of manufacture or distribution.

Quite some time after it was devised, the system was adopted by France in 1954. A few years later, when the Common Market (now the European Union) was formed, it was decided that the imposition of a form of VAT would be a requirement for joining.

Hence, when the UK joined the EEC in 1973, we replaced our existing Sales Tax with VAT.

Dreaded VAT Returns

Many companies have an understandable love / hate relationship with VAT, but despite the dread of regular VAT returns, being VAT registered can bring many benefits and a good accountant is invaluable in realising those benefits.

If your business is close to the threshold, give me a call to discuss VAT registration.

More Information

If I've whet your appetite for VAT facts, try the following resource:

• en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Value_added_tax

Happy (and Prosperous) New Year!

As talk of America's fiscal cliff dies down and our own home grown green shoots of recovery head skywards, I'd like to wish all my customers a very...

Happy New Year!

I hope 2013 is a prosperous one - with perhaps a little less rain than last year!

New Year's Resolutions

Refreshed from a few days off and a bit of quality family time, the new year brings a renewed vigour and sense of determination to get things done.

I can't help you with the smoking, healthy eating or exercise, but I if your resolution is to be incorporated this year, I can help with company formations.

Or if the 2012/13 tax year has already been very kind to you so far and you're resolved to keep some of the money, perhaps I could assist with some tax advice?

All the best,
Fiona

Beware the Tax Collector's Dog!

Whilst looking for accountants jokes to post on my blog earlier today, I came across the following:

What's the difference between a Doberman and a Tax Inspector?
A Doberman will eventually let go!

A funny enough joke in itself and I was pleased that I'd found one that was at the expense of the tax man rather than myself, but more interesting was the anecdote attached to it.

Did you know...

According to various websites I discovered, the Doberman dog breed was created by a tax collector!

Sources suggest Herr Karl Friedrich Louis Dobermann (1834-1891) had a number of professions including dogcatcher, night watchman and tax collector, the latter two of which involved some risk to life and limb.

With ready access to a supply of dogs, he set about breeding a watchful, sharp, brave and intelligent dog to accompany him on his rounds.

His aim was to create a guard dog with a strong mouth, good nose, courage, hardness and a highly developed protective instinct. The result was the Doberman Pinscher.

Want to know more?

A quick search on Google pulled up the following websites that appear to corroborate the story to some degree or another:

• en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doberman_Pinscher
• judgesl.com/doberman/history.html

So, if the thought of the tax man knocking on your door makes you nervous, give Fiona Wills a call. I'm good with dogs!

Taxman by The Beatles

With all the current talk about taxes on the rich and offshore accounts, it is easy to forget an earlier time when four working class lads from Liverpool were genuinely shocked to see how much of their money was going to the tax man.

Forget the 45% or 50% high tax rate that Labour and the Conservatives are arguing over at the moment. Back then Harold Wilson's Labour government had introduced a 95% supertax rate!

Taxman

The Beatles hit back on their 1966 album 'Revolver' with the song 'Taxman'. Written by George Harrison, he said of the song, "Taxman was when I first realized that even though we had started earning money, we were actually giving most of it away in taxes."

Well, we all know The Beatles didn't do too badly overall, but as long as their are excessive taxes, there'll always be plenty of accountants.

So many thanks to HMRC for providing me with a living!

Lyrics

For those who can't make them out from the song, the following are the lyrics:

Let me tell you how it will beThere's one for you, nineteen for me
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman

Should five per cent appear too small
Be thankful I don't take it all
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah I'm the taxman

If you drive a car, I'll tax the street,
If you try to sit, I'll tax your seat.
If you get too cold I'll tax the heat,
If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet.

Don’t ask me what I want it for
If you don't want to pay some more
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman

Now my advice for those who die
Declare the pennies on your eyes
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman

And you're working for no one but me.

Note the line "There's one for you, nineteen for me" reference to Wilson's 95% tax rate.

Tax Advice

If you're liable for higher rate tax of 45%, give Fiona Wills a call for personal, business or corporation tax advice.

Rural Accountants, Lancashire

When many people think of Lancashire, they think of the central Lancashire towns of Preston, Blackpool and Lancaster, but even post the 1974 boundary changes, Lancashire is a relatively large county with many of its 1,189 square miles still rural.

If your business is located in a rural area, far from the nearest high street, everyday business processes, such as a visit to the accountant can be a chore.

Mobile Accountants

Enter Fiona Wills Accounting Services. Based in Garstang at the heart of Lancashire, I am a fully mobile accountant and I come to you, meaning you don't have to leave and / or shut your business.

No need travel miles to drop off paperwork or for a 30 minute meeting. I come to you!

I was raised in South Cumbria and Lancashire and am very aware of the problems associated with running a business in this largely rural area.

My services include VAT and self-assessment returns, bookkeeping, tax advice, company formations, payroll services, management accounts and more.

I pride myself on a flexible personal service and will always strive to meet your requirements and provide the very best information and advice.

Accountantancy Services throughout Lancashire

So whether you're looking for Accountants north of Lancaster, Bookkeeping Services to the west of Preston or Payroll Services east of Blackpool, give Fiona Wills Accounting Services a call.

An Accountancy Shanty

How about a bit of light relief to kick off this chilly November with?

For the few who remember it and the many who've probably never heard of it, here is the Accountancy Shanty song from Rutland Weekend Television (RWT): 

 

RWT was a television sketch show, written by Eric Idle (of Monty Python fame) with music by Neil Innes, which aired in the mid 1970s on BBC2.

Accountancy Shanty Lyrics

And for those who want to sing along, here are the words from the sketch:

Battley: Look, up in the trees! Accountants. The long day's accounts are done and they gather here in the Reigate Woods to sing accountancy shanties.

Accountant(s): 'Twas in my youth I ran away
To accountancy one day
With pen and paper collar and stud
Accountancy was in my blood
      I'll scribble away and balance the books and sing an accountancy shanty!
I chartered an accountant at the age of twenty-one
      I'll scribble away and balance the books and sing an accountancy shanty!
So raise a glass of medium-dry sherry
To the golden age of VAT
      I'll scribble away and balance the books and sing an accountancy shanty!

Battley: Ah, it's a rare sight for this part of Reigate...